unexpected growing up

As you guys know, this blog is incredibly travel-focused.

I mean, duh, it is a travel blog.

It’s also a little memoir about my travels and thoughts about them, and as a result of that, a lot of growing up is thrown into my writing. I’m taking a little (one post) break from hard-core travel content; this post will focus on my life and my growth, and of course, travel will be mentioned, just not as heavily as you guys are used to.

Recently, a couple of you lovely readers have asked me how I keep my life so together… Running a travel blog, actually traveling, and doing schoolwork, while also still having a social life. Well, let me tell you, deception is an art. I’m a mess!

College is a weird time. It’s a mixed bag. On one hand, I feel much more grown up; I’m planning out MY LIFE and future and “finding myself” and who I want to be. On the other hand, however, I feel as if I’m being babied here. I’m not living on my own and I’m becoming much less independent, and who I thought I was and what I thought I wanted my future to look like have been questioned and torn apart, leaving me confused and unsure of myself. I guess that’s part of growing up, but to be quite honest, it feels like regression.

Through this weird sense of half growing up, I’ve questioned my future career path oodles of times. I’ve had multiple late night existential crises. I’ve cried (in public) dozens of times. It’s been a wild ride thus far.

I came into Mount Holyoke set on being a chemical engineer, then remembered that chemistry was my worst subject in high school, and well… that hasn’t changed.

I then decided I wanted to go into biomedical engineering, because I love engineering and biology, but well…. how would I ever travel?

My great need to travel and see the world has completely taken over my life, and I have decided (this week) to major in international relations. Something about knowing that my future will be filled with all sorts of adventures gets me really excited about what I’m hoping to do.

The thing I miss most about travel is the serendipity of it all; I didn’t have to have an idea of what I was doing; I was free to just be. Hopefully a future career in international relations will allow me to be serendipitous once again; to make split second decisions and roll with the choices that I make.

Luckily for me, the environment I’m in allows for me to be unsure. I’ve met the most supportive and wonderful people during my time here who remind me that it is okay to question yourself.

Looking back on travels, the serendipitous decisions I had made, the ones I questioned but just went with, often were what I still consider to be the best decisions of my life. So, if you’re just as lost as I, I will remind you, as everyone at my college has reminded me, that it’s okay to not have it together. It is okay to be a mess and question your every move. It’s part of growing up, and that uncertainty you feel, no matter how intimidating, will propel you to do great things.

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “unexpected growing up

  1. Thoughtful reflection. For me, I switched majors after realizing one subject wasn’t for me, however I consider my degree (and Masters) to be the best decisions I’ve made as they’ve allowed me to live/work abroad, which has been a gift in terms of traveling. Education is a tool in pursuing a life that makes you happy. 🙂

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  2. I think you just put into words my thoughts were for a long time, until I decided to go a bit with the flow!
    I did finished my degree, but after all I have been traveling and working (so I can be truly independent and keep on traveling while earning some money).

    It is sometimes a tough decision, and whichever your thoughts are; university studies and any kind of education in general will allow you to find yourself a new life if this dream of ours about traveling the world fails for any reason.

    I remember every add I had to analyze was about traveling, the ones I had to create were about traveling, my final project turned to be about traveling… I guess at some stage we all traveling-lovers have such a black-outs about leaving everything and start and endless road-trip!

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    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. It’s incredibly reassuring to know you have similar thoughts. Travel really does change lives I guess, and as confusing as it may be, it’ll be okay in the end 🙂

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